Friday Thought: Self Compassion

Last night it was cold but I went downhill skiing, dressed up in as many layers as possible.

We have a weekly daddys’ ski night every Thursday. But this weekly reunion is so much more than just a quick ski.

The other daddies happen to also be my best friends here in Oslo. I have known them for over 12 years and we have been on countless Adventures together, both near Oslo and quite a lot in the mountains.

During Winter we prefer to meet up and go skiing than to have a meal or a beer together. It also gives us a weekly opportunity to catch up and talk about any stressful moments during the last week.

Last night one of the dads had to pull out due to one of his kids being sick. I was still pretty tired after a bad night sleep (details of which can be found in yesterday’s blog). It was super cold and part of me was hoping that the other Dad would send me a message and suggest that we don’t go.

However when his message came through he was brimming with positivity and saying that another friend of his could join us. His enthusiasm gave me the energy I needed to get out the door and head skiing.

We all drove together and when we started skiing the conditions were exceptional. I mean truly exceptional.

The only problem was that in my tired state I didn’t feel like I was skiing that well. (In hindsight I was skiing well, just not exceptionally, as my tired body did not want to put as much power down through my skis).

I was starting a bit of negative self-talk in my head.

That was when I made the conscious decision to break the negative spiral.

I had a chat with myself whilst on the T- bar alone …and reminded myself that I love skiing more than anything else. There was absolutely no need for my skiing to be perfect, but the most important thing was to have fun and also enjoy the company of the other daddies.

It did not matter if I were not the first one down the slope or that the others had more energy than me.

All too often we put too much pressure on ourselves even when doing the things we love most.

We can end up talking to ourselves in a harsh way, in a manner and tone which we would never talk to our friends.

By both managing to identify and accept vulnerability, and the perfect nature of imperfection, we can consciously break this negative cycle and shift back to a more playful, non-competitive way of being.

It is impossible to perform at your top level all the time.

In hiding these vulnerabilities we create a false mask of perfection which then leads others to feel inadequate when comparing themselves, and the cycle continues.

Those are my Friday thoughts, thank you for reading and have a wonderful imperfect weekend.

Doggies: Lotta, Kimba, Lucy, Haraka, Odin and Amazona